Whatever happened to my modelling career?

When I was about 9 years old, my mother signed me up for a modelling class. I think that someone convinced her that I could start bringing in the big bucks … perhaps as the new face of Woolworth’s. As a single mother (my father had recently died) who had immigrated from Poland only a few years before and suddenly had a mortgage on her hands and a child to raise, money was a serious concern. Nothing ever came of it, except that I learned how to twirl on a runway. And pose. Awkwardly.

I looked up some posing tips for models on the Internet. Let’s see how I did:

• Don't keep both arms entirely straight. Bend one or both arms, even if only a little, to make the pose look less artificial. Likewise, don't keep both legs entirely straight.
  
  C-: I fail this one miserably in both standing poses. At least all limbs are bent in the seated pose.
  

• Don't always look straight at the camera. Instead, use a variety of head and eye positions: Try turning your head, tilting your neck to one side or the other, or looking off to the side for some poses.
  
  A: Okay. Not bad. There’s a variety of positions here.
  

• Don't use a big smile for every pose. Sometimes try a small smile, a pout, a laugh, a scowl, or even a frown, to give some variety to your facial expressions.
  
  D: Hmmmm. I had big smile and slightly smaller smile in my repertoire.
  

• Rest most of your weight on one foot or the other instead of evenly on both feet. Doing so makes poses look less artificial and gives a slight slimming effect in most positions.
  
  A++: Maybe my arms were straight, but at least I pass this one with flying colors. And look at how slim I look!